Alternative uses for double pointed needles, evil dog, etc.

Yeah, I love vacation! I have time to write on my silly little blog…

So, I had to run out and buy more of the mohair yarn for the Neverending Scarf, because I’d not done my math correctly and will run out before I get to 104 inches. I do realize that I could just cut it short, seeing as how it’s taking me an eternity, but for me, the whole point of this scarf is how dramatically lonnng it is. Anyhow, while I was at the yarn shop, I was waiting for the owner to be done with helping other customers who were there before me, and so I browsed a bit. I picked up more yarn: this time for Mrs. Beeton, which is kind of funny because I already have some yarn in my burgeoning stash that could work for this… but I saw the Debbie Bliss Cashmerino, and the Madil Kid Seta, both in shades of blue, and the impulse buying commenced. I’ve also already bought double pointed needles for this project, for baby booties in Last Minute Knitted Gifts, and for the Fluffy Cuff Mittens in Stitch ‘n Bitch (okay, the needles for the mittens were an accidental purchase, sort of… it’s a dog story, but suffice it to say that I hadn’t had the needles in mind for the mittens when I bought them)… and I know these are the exact sizes I need because I always knit right on gauge. Doesn’t everyone?

But what if – and here I finally come to the point (bad pun intended) of this post – what if I bought the yarn, bought the dpns, and then, much to my shock, horror and outrage, couldn’t actually knit with the dpns? I’ve thought it through, and I’ve come up with a list of things I could do with them:

1. Food: fondue or shish kabob skewers.
2. Extreme acupuncture.
3. Fetch sticks for a chihuahua.
4. Purse-sized vampire stakes (if they are made of wood; bamboo might also kill a vampire in a pinch).
5. Costuming: glue them to body and masquerade as a porcupine. Could also use as hair accessories. Or, tape them to fingers. Wolverine!
6. Use as the ends of a scroll.
7. Center-pole for a tent in a flea circus.
8. Alternative for boning in a corset (don’t we all want to be skinny and breathless Elizabethan ladies? Here’s a bit on the history of the corset, if you are so inclined).
9. Sticks for paper puppets.
10. Piercings – you will be the ultimate hard core knitter if you have your septum pierced with a dpn!

As a last bit of silliness, here’s a picture of the dog who caused me to buy the size 10 dpns that I didn’t really need but will now use for the mittens, knowing that they will be exactly the right ones because I always knit on gauge (mentioned that, didn’t I?). See, in my efforts to wrestle the ninety-pound separation-anxiety-ridden beast out of the house so that I could go to Michael’s and buy knitting supplies, the list of what I needed fell out of my pocket. Therefore, this subversive, sneaky saboteur caused me to go to Michael’s sans list, whereupon I tried to remember what I needed; couldn’t, but grabbed the size 10 dpns because dammit, I was going to buy something. Doesn’t he look just the epitome of evil?

Now… back to that scarf…

This entry was published on December 28, 2005 at 7:19 pm and is filed under General (In)sanity, Knitting. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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