Harry Potter and the Dumpster of Doom

Because that’s where I’m about ready to put this $%*@$# scarf. I have exactly three million other things I need to accomplish tonight, yet here I sit, venting on my blog.

It’s not that I’m having any difficulty knitting it. On the contrary; I’ve been clipping along for the last couple of days, determined to finish it before I start any other project. It’s the only project I have on my needles, and I’ve been knitting it every chance I get. I’ve got six sets of gold bars completed. It’s been easy, albeit mind numbing. This evening, when I ran out of my second skein of burgundy yarn, though, I had a horrible, ugly, and very rude awakening: I’m not quite to the halfway point, but I’ve used up half my yarn. Which means…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I don’t know how this can be. I bought the amount that the pattern called for. I checked my gauge, and checked again. I checked yet again tonight, to see if I’d loosened up my stitches partway through. No, I am right on. And yet, there it is: I’m not going to have enough yarn to finish. Is this a normal knitting nightmare? What am I supposed to do – buy an extra skein of everything, just in case, and then knit two dozen one-skein scarves at the end of the year to get rid of the accumulated extras? Sell them as a giant grab bag on ebay?

There’s no way I can get more in the same dye lot; I bought it on the internet, and fat chance that retailer will have any more since I bought it in October (although I probably will ask them, anyway). I called my husband at work in a panic when I realized the magnitude of the catastrophe that had struck this scarf that I have worked on for so long, that I have endured knitter’s purgatory for (as Brenda Dayne calls any project that’s just plain ‘ol boring knit stitch with no excitement whatsoever), that my husband has been eagerly awaiting since Thanksgiving. Here’s how that conversation went:

Me, in tragic tones: I have to tell you something.

Him: What? What’s wrong? Did something happen to the baby? Is everything okay?

Me: No… yes, everything is okay. But the scarf! I just realized that I don’t have enough yarn to finish it.

Him: Oh. Silence.

Me: Well, I’m not halfway done yet, and I have just used half the yarn. I won’t even have enough to get to the end, and that’s without the fringe.

Him: Soooo… make it shorter? Or can you just leave off the fringe? Or use the gold yarn for fringe?

Me, feeling not only sad about the scarf but now also very foolish for having called my husband. At work. About a scarf. The sky is not falling, Chicken Little- although I kind of wish it would fall on my head right about now: Well, I could try getting another skein, but it will probably be another dye lot, which means the color might be a little off.

Him: Well, why don’t you finish as much as you can and see where you are, and we’ll go from there if it isn’t long enough. You’ve bought enough yarn lately, don’t you think?

Me – Damnation – he noticed?! Well, I guess all those UPS boxes are kind of hard to miss… :
Oh. Well, okay. I guess I could do that. It’s just that I’m frustrated that I did all this and then I’m going to run out… voice trails off mumbling about yardage and gauge and the sky falling

Him: Well, I’m going to let you go. Calm down, it’s not that big a deal. I’ll talk to you later.

Me – sheepishly: Okayloveyoubye.

So, I was thinking that if I can block the scarf wide enough once I am finished – oops I mean, once I run out of %@&%^ yarn – I can squeeze my shoulders though and use it as a sweater sans sleeves. A body tube – a straight jacket of sorts, which would perhaps prevent me from making idiotic, dramatic, completely-lacking-in-perspective phone calls to my husband about knitting tragedies.

This entry was published on January 18, 2006 at 4:25 am and is filed under General (In)sanity, Knitting. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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